In 2004, I closed on my first house on Election Day. Go figure. A little American symbolism of my life to come. Lindsay and I celebrated Christmas that year with Nip, the Norfolk Island Pine I got from Kroger the year before for my apartment living. Nip was pre-decorated. (& yes, we named it - that's what we do) That was the same year Bryan came home with me to Minnesota for the Christmas holiday. That was the last time I saw him for months as he left to start training for his tour to Iraq.
2005? Bryan and I were engaged. But we spent Christmas holiday apart, on opposite sides of the world. I went shopping with one of my besties, Ann, for holiday decorations for my 'grown up tree'. Of all the ornaments, sizes and colors - magenta, blue, yellow, orange ... I opted for red and silver - so the tree wouldn't clash with my then, red living room.
The year of the wedding: 2006 First year in our home together celebrating the holidays. We went to a tree farm and cut down our 'first' Christmas Tree and vowed for it to be a family tradition.
We had a hectic 2007 holiday season - With a 'Home for Sale' sign in the front yard, Christmas was the last thing we could think about. After a horrifying battle with food poisoning, Bryan and I missed our 'post-Thanksgiving Christmas decorating extravaganza.' [note: the food poisoning was not from my cooking] Once our strength was regained, we headed across the street for an over-priced pre-cut tree. Boring. But hey - we got a free ornament.
Welcome to Statesboro in 2008 and a precious LBN on the way. To restart the tradition, Bryan and I headed to a tree farm again to cut down our own tree. We drove an hour in a half in cold, wet weather conditions - cut down our tree and headed back. Only to find out there is a tree farm less than a half mile from our house. This Christmas was bittersweet because we all knew Bryan would be leaving for a tour to Afghanistan soon. Real soon.
And here we are in 2009. LBN is here; Jack is a healthy, happy baby boy. I'm so proud to be his mom. The only problem with this Christmas is that Bryan isn't home. Doesn't really feel like much of a holiday season with such a large part of our little family missing. Jack's first Christmas. But, I kept the tradition alive. Robbie came over and we went to the CLOSE tree farm and cut down a tree. It's much larger than it looked in the field.
I pulled out the ornaments, the tree stand and lights from the very back of the attic in our shed. Robbie and I hauled the tree in the house. We (I) picked a tree with a crooked trunk ... so we spent forever in branches and sap trying to get it straight. I wrestled with Christmas lights. I felt lonely decorating the tree by myself, but Jack was asleep at my feet. keeping me company. I hung up all the red and silver filler ornaments I got in 2005. Pretty much over the holiday already.
Then I got to the 'special' ornaments that we've received from friends and family over the years (Not the ones we get free from roadside tree stands). I started to notice a trend. Maybe I knew better in 2005 and picked the ornaments not to match my living room, but to support the ornaments that would soon symbolize the life that we live.
2005? Bryan and I were engaged. But we spent Christmas holiday apart, on opposite sides of the world. I went shopping with one of my besties, Ann, for holiday decorations for my 'grown up tree'. Of all the ornaments, sizes and colors - magenta, blue, yellow, orange ... I opted for red and silver - so the tree wouldn't clash with my then, red living room.
The year of the wedding: 2006 First year in our home together celebrating the holidays. We went to a tree farm and cut down our 'first' Christmas Tree and vowed for it to be a family tradition.
We had a hectic 2007 holiday season - With a 'Home for Sale' sign in the front yard, Christmas was the last thing we could think about. After a horrifying battle with food poisoning, Bryan and I missed our 'post-Thanksgiving Christmas decorating extravaganza.' [note: the food poisoning was not from my cooking] Once our strength was regained, we headed across the street for an over-priced pre-cut tree. Boring. But hey - we got a free ornament.
Welcome to Statesboro in 2008 and a precious LBN on the way. To restart the tradition, Bryan and I headed to a tree farm again to cut down our own tree. We drove an hour in a half in cold, wet weather conditions - cut down our tree and headed back. Only to find out there is a tree farm less than a half mile from our house. This Christmas was bittersweet because we all knew Bryan would be leaving for a tour to Afghanistan soon. Real soon.
And here we are in 2009. LBN is here; Jack is a healthy, happy baby boy. I'm so proud to be his mom. The only problem with this Christmas is that Bryan isn't home. Doesn't really feel like much of a holiday season with such a large part of our little family missing. Jack's first Christmas. But, I kept the tradition alive. Robbie came over and we went to the CLOSE tree farm and cut down a tree. It's much larger than it looked in the field.
I pulled out the ornaments, the tree stand and lights from the very back of the attic in our shed. Robbie and I hauled the tree in the house. We (I) picked a tree with a crooked trunk ... so we spent forever in branches and sap trying to get it straight. I wrestled with Christmas lights. I felt lonely decorating the tree by myself, but Jack was asleep at my feet. keeping me company. I hung up all the red and silver filler ornaments I got in 2005. Pretty much over the holiday already.
Then I got to the 'special' ornaments that we've received from friends and family over the years (Not the ones we get free from roadside tree stands). I started to notice a trend. Maybe I knew better in 2005 and picked the ornaments not to match my living room, but to support the ornaments that would soon symbolize the life that we live.
I took a step back and realized that the Neal's have a Patriotic Christmas Tree. A somber reminder of the sacrifices we all have made. Bryan away from his family in dangerous conditions, Jack growing up in the absence of his father and me? Missing my husband, my partner, my best friend.
A end of the year trophy, our Christmas Tree reminds us that another year has passed, many strengths gained and hardships overcome. And although apart - all 3 of us have much to be thankful for.
We are so wealthy in Life. Freedom. Health. & Love.
3 comments:
You're such a beautiful writer, Steph! :) I ache for you guys, imagining what it would be like to have Bryan gone. You are all in our prayers this Christmas season and trust that, even though apart, the joy of the season will draw you together. Love you!
I love this post. Putting the ornaments on the tree is at the top of my list of favorites this time of year. I'm glad you did it...you had lots of reasons not to. I can't wait until Jack is old enough to help. That becomes the next stage of fun and Bryan will be able to join in that good time. Love your new blog look. We really missed you at Thanksgiving. Love you!
Your post made me tear up, we are thinking about you guys daily. I am so glad that you and Jack decorated your tree even though it doesn't feel much like Christmas without Bryan.
It is amazing how life changes so much from year to year. Just think of next Christmas when you will have your whole beautiful family under your tree. Love you, Miss you!
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