Jack's First Day of 'School'

Ugh. Today is the day. Jack's bottles are labeled and ready for the day, his paperwork ready to go, and his bag packed for his first day of school. I feel horrible about it. My heart is breaking. So many people are lucky enough to stay home with their little ones and watch them grow. Me? Not so lucky. I now have an inkling of how Bryan must feel. Inkling. I am sure it is nothing compared to how he feels.

Will his miss his toys?
Will he cry all day?
Will they understand my notes on how to comfort him?
Will they give him the attention he needs?
Will he miss me?

(Did you hear that? Yes, my heart just shattered on the floor)

But then my voice of reason chimes in ...

He'll make friends his own age.
His caretakers know what they are doing.
He loves people.
It'll be a good experience for him.
He'll do things I could have never thought of.
He's a happy boy; he'll be better than fine.

But - my voice of reason is quiet and timid compared to my obnoxious stubborn voice and I can't hear it very often. So then I start questioning myself all over again; and then sarcastically thank the Army and the Georgia Board of Regents for their shitty salaries that don't allow me to stay home and be the best mom ever! (*Throwing fists of fury into the air*) Argh!

Jack's 'school' is probably less than 50 yards away from my office and they have an open door policy. So, when I miss my baby, I can see my baby. (Trish is going to have to lock me in my office...) (I tried getting myself through this last night by a glass of wine ... didn't work - but a sleeve of oreos and a glass of milk definitely made me feel somewhat better...)

But anyway - enough insight to the bantering inside of my head... Here is Jack's First Day of School picture. No, he can't wear a backpack yet, nor does he have anything to put inside of one.

(yes Jack has N's on his socks so he doesn't mix them up with the other kiddos)

Well, wish me luck ... we're off to do this thing.