Growing Strong!

Luke and I have successfully ventured to the doctor for his 1 and 2 week appointments. Last week when they asked us if anything was wrong, we unfortunately had to say 'yes.' Luke's belly button was infected - green and gooey ew-y. Dr. Rao - best pediatrician ever - said it hanging partially off and pulled it off the rest of the way. We had to clean it with alcohol. (Child abuse!!)

There is no doubt that Luke likes to eat. Born 21.25 inches long and weighing 8 pounds and 1 ounce, he left the hospital weighing 7 pounds and 14 ounces. . .

1 Week Old

1 WEEK STATS
Weight: 8 pounds, 4 ounces (65%)
Length: 21.5 inches (95%)
Head: 14.25 inches (50%)

Since the last appointment, Luke has upped his feedings from 2 ounces to 3 ounces (both at 2 hour intervals). However, Dr. Rao insisted we get to 3 hour intervals . . . so we're going to work on that. The kid is a piglet, though. Wish me luck.

2 WEEK STATS
Weight: 9 pounds, 5 ounces (75%)

Length: 22 inches (95%)

Head: 15 inches (55%)

I missed the doctor photo today. Luke decided to poop EVERYWHERE, so in the hurry to clean it all up, I forgot to take a picture.

Welcome Luke David Neal

July 5

5 Days Until Bryan's Departure
As directed, I called the hospital at 5am on Thursday morning to see what time I was to come to the hospital. The woman who answers tells me there are 4 women being induced that morning and the beds are first come first serve - can I be there by 6am?

You bet.

I notify auntie Robbie to let her know that it's a green light and to come over to sit with Jack until he wakes. Bryan and I quickly got ready and drove the 7.4 miles to the hospital. (I honestly thought it was closer to our house than that)

Holy crap. We were going to do this! We were going to have ANOTHER baby. I still really hadn't come to terms that we were pregnant again. Excited? Of course. Was it surreal? Absolutely.

We arrive at East Georgia Regional Medical Center at 5:58am. We were the first ones there. Jackpot.

We check in and fill out the same paperwork that we did 6 days prior.

They showed us to a room, I redressed into a hospital gown and before I knew it, the IV was stuck into my hand and the Pitocin started to drip. (6:30am)

Were we really about to do this? Was I ready? I had to be. But Bryan was leaving. Can I handle two kids? By myself? Oh boy.

Sidenote: Small town fun. My nurse, Leah and I were in English 1101 & 1102 together. Not only did we write short stories together ... but she now has seen and probed every inch of me. Never saw that one coming when I was 19.

However, at 19 I ALSO never saw sitting in a labor and delivery room with Bryan Neal coming either. ha.

7:45am
They break my water and offer an epidural.  I'm not sure where I was during my delivery with Jack - but I thought epidurals had the opportunity to wear out. So, in my head I wanted to wait a little but to avoid the chance of that happening.  But little did I remember, the epidural stayed in - and they could continue to give me drugs.

Lindsay and Robbie arrive. I listen to Lindsay, Robbie and Bryan chat away while I clench my way through some contractions.

Fine. Give me the epidural now.

Enter the anesthesiologist. I sit and feel him prod around my back. I feel pain in my left side. Bryan tells me later the man put a drill bit in my back and that he seemed rather clumsy (not the word you want to hear describing your anesthesiologist)

My left side goes numb. I refer to my left leg as dead - literally. I had no control over it. Pain goes shooting through my right side. Manageable at first; but not for long. Leah adjusted the pain killer - still can't feel my left leg, and can feel every movement on my right; it almost felt amplified. I had the opportunity to have the anesthesiologist tinker with my epidural - only if I hadn't dilated by 6. Good news - I was at 5. Mr. Clumsy comes back in, baffled. He asks some questions, where it hurts, etc. The next thing I know, he's removed my epidural and I'm getting another one. Two epidurals for LBN2. If this second one didn't work - there was nothing else they could do. I'd have to deal with it.

I felt another contraction. Crap. I think I felt a total of 3 contractions before I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I was totally numb and relaxed. I'd wake up to Robbie asking me - Whoa, can you feel that one?

Before I knew it Robbie said my contractions were off the chart. I thought I felt a little pressure, but I wasn't 100% sure. Robbie insisted we get the nurse. Leah came in and check to see where I was dilated - and it was GO time. Baby was here - not time to waste.

Dr. O arrives, tables and instruments are being wheeled in. So many things I didn't remember about Jack's delivery.  I was so numb they had to place my legs in the stirrups. I couldn't believe it. It made it kind of hard to push because I couldn't feel anything. But hey, I couldn't feel anything - so I really can't complain. I'd say Luke arrived after about 4 huge pushes. It wasn't too difficult. I've been blessed with easy pregnancies and easy deliveries.

And I was in love the second I met him.

Later that day, Auntie Robbie picked up Jack from school and brought him to meet his new baby brother. Jack marched right in. It was love at first site. Jack now likes to go to sleep next to his baby brother. He doesn't like to leave the house without him. I catch Jack giving Luke hugs, covering him up, smothering him with kisses, offering him pacis and bottles...

I don't want to jinx myself - but I think they are going to be the best of friends.

A Letter From a Military Wife

My 'civilian' friend Katie recently shared this with me. She comes from a military family but has now also dealt with my stubbornness since Bryan left in February. Giving the timing, I felt it was appropriate to share. The author has taken thoughts straight out of my head and put them on paper for the world to read. It's relieving knowing that I am not the only hard headed military wife out there. (*wink)

 

 What I Wish my Civilian Friends Knew: A Letter from a Military Wife

by Jocelyn on July 2, 2012

by Catherine Fitzgerald

Dear Civilian Friend,

The other day you said to me, “I always want to minister to you, but I don’t know how.” I know I haven’t made it easy on you to figure out the “how.” Blame it on Rosie the Riveter and her “I can do it all” attitude or perhaps Lifetime’s Army Wives and their ability to solve all the drama of military life in 60 minutes or less. Blame it on the pride that comes with this lifestyle, constantly whispering in my ear, asking for help is showing weakness. It’s not fair to you. Or me. Because you want to help and I need it. So here it is. Everything I wished you knew but I can’t seem to tell you.


First and foremost, I need your prayers. Pray for strength and endurance during yet another separation from the love of my life. Pray for my kids because they are struggling without daddy right now. No matter how old they are, no matter how many deployments they’ve been through, every separation is hard on them. And nothing hurts a momma more than to see her kiddos hurting and knowing there is nothing I can do. Pray for my husband. Pray for his safety. Pray for his mind to be able to process the ugliness of war. Pray for our marriage, that it can endure the trials and temptations that come with every departure. Pray for our country and the leaders in charge of putting our husband and father in harm’s way. Just above all else, pray for me, friend.

You should know that I probably won’t ask for much. In fact, you should probably just adopt a “don’t ask, just tell” policy with me. I am coming to watch your kids Monday night. I am coming to mow your lawn next Tuesday. This will be much more effective with me than a blanket “Let me know if you need anything.” Like I said, blame it on Rosie the Riveter or this stubborn pride of mine, but I probably won’t ask you for the help I so desperately need. And if I do, know that it took A LOT for me to get to that point so never make me feel bad about it because I may not ask again. I know the air filter was really dirty and should have been cleaned months ago, but I’m just doing the best that I can, a day at a time.

I need you to walk with me through this deployment. How this translates in real, practical terms is different for each one of us but try and figure it out. Many days I am treading water and can feel like I am about to go under. It may be a break from the kids. Sometimes a trip to the grocery store alone can feel like a day at the spa. Come give my kids a bath and help me get them to bed and I will feel like a new woman. Carry the baby asleep in the carseat to my car and the burden will literally feel lighter. Take my trash can to the curb every Wednesday night so I don’t awake in a panic at midnight and have to run outside to do it. Invite me for dinner so the nights don’t feel so lonely. Ask me to spend the holidays with you because I am so far from my family. Drop off dinner so I don’t have to cook one night. Help fix that leaky faucet so I don’t have to figure out which plumber won’t rip me off in this town I am new in. Come clean my bathrooms because I can never get to them. Mow my yard without even asking. Change the oil in my car, something my husband usually does, so that I don’t have to lug the babies to Jiffy Lube. Watch my kids while I go to the doctor so I don’t have to pay for another babysitter. Offer to come stay the night so I can sleep soundly and not jump at every creak I hear. Just come over and chat, I missing having someone to talk to. Listen to me and you will probably figure out quickly some ways you can show me you care.

Keep encouraging me. Bear with me through this whole deployment. It is like a death. At the beginning, the offers of help and words of encouragement are plentiful, but as I near the end, weary and tired, when I need it the most, they trail off. Remind me of God’s word and His promises. I can become consumed in missing my man and I need to constantly be told that God has a purpose and plan for me in this life just as much as he has one for my husband. Help me find it because sometimes my vision gets so clouded with tears.

I know you don’t every understand everything about my life. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s taken years for me to learn this many acronyms. I want you to understand more and I don’t mind explaining. You don’t have to pity me, but I want your empathy. If you see me huddling with my fellow military wives, don’t think I don’t want to let you in. It’s just that we speak the same language and we have seen each other at the lowest points so we are bonded in an incredible way. That doesn’t mean I don’t desire to have a close bond with you too. But, they are just my default. You can offer me a perspective outside of this life. I need that.

Please know I am grateful for all your help. Though I may not write you a thank you card for each and every act, know I so appreciate it. I know I can get wrapped up in my own hardships and sometimes I forget to ask how I can pray for you. I am sorry. I know God’s comfort so I should be comforting you in your difficulties with the same comfort I have received. I need to work on that. And I need to help you with your needs as well and use the gifts and talents He has given me in ministering to you. Just because my husband is gone, doesn’t mean I can’t serve you. I know it is better to give than to receive.

We are not that different. My husband just took a job where the uncertainty of life is simply in our faces all the time. You sometimes can pretend you are in control of your life. I know I am not. God can use that as a launching pad for an incredible faith and trust in Him. Or Satan can use that to send me into a whirlwind of fear. Help me out of the spiral of anxiety if you see me spinning in it.
I’m glad I was able to tell you all the things I never did before. I hope this helps you figure out how to minister to me. I should have told you sooner, but I just didn’t know how. I need you more than ever these days as the deployments keep coming and the challenges get harder and harder with each moment. Our family can’t do this calling without you so thank you for noticing us and caring enough to show us we aren’t alone in this.

Thank you, friend.
Love,
A Military Wife

Godspeed

Bryan returned to Afghanistan on Tuesday, July 10 - five days after Luke was born. Bryan leaving this time might have been the hardest one for me yet. My hormones are still swirling from my pregnancy, I haven't gotten a grip on being a mother of two yet, I haven't caught up on my sleep from the hospital, we haven't spent enough time as a family of 4, I haven't held onto Bryan enough, and he hasn't held me enough either ... 

But my heart doesn't break for me - it breaks for the boys in my life. 

It breaks for my innocent, unknowing children. 

Jack isn't ready to share his father with the world again. And that is what breaks my heart the most. Jack doesn't understand that when his daddy walked out the door yesterday morning, he wasn't going to come back in 8 hours - it was going to be more like 8 months.  We'll be celebrating Jack's 4th birthday when Bryan comes home. 

Luke had 5 days to bond with his father. He'll be 8 months old when he sees him again.

It breaks my heart for my husband. 

While he unselfishly serves our county, he'll miss so many moments in both of children's lives.  Jack is growing leap and bounds. He brings new surprises to us daily - whether it's learning how to snap, reciting his favorite book - verbatim, saying something witty (or really intellectual) or finally growing the courage to put his feet on the bottom of the pool.  Luke will learn how to roll over, sit up, crawl, eat food and possibly walk. He'll start to talk and develop a personality. As many photographs and movies as I can take, they won't fill the gap between Bryan and the boys. I can't give Bryan the evening cuddles and the unasked for "I love yous."

--

It's amazing how much you can miss having an arm around you.

Luke David Neal

Luke David Neal 

Thursday, July 5, 2012 at 12:30

 8 pounds, 1 ounce

21.25 inches

LBN2 Update

What has been the main goal with Bryan home? To have him meet his son!

11 Days Until Bryan's Departure
Friday we went into the hospital and had an amniocentesis.  Jack was at Robbie and Matthew's house with a packed bag, much like the hospital bag in my trunk.

A painfully large needle was inserted into my belly and 3 huge tubes of amniotic fluid were taken. The point of this procedure? To check the maturity of LBN2's lungs. If all was clear, I would stay at the hospital and be induced. Bryan and I waited anxiously while they ran the test. Dr. Oldham was called into surgery so the nurse delivered the disappointing news; she spouted off some numbers that went in one ear and out the other ... but what really mattered was that the lungs weren't mature enough. I did my best to hold back my tears.

Bryan and I left the hospital and went out to lunch. I clenched my way through some contractions - which was normal after having an amniocentesis. We came home and I laid on the couch. Depressed. If the lungs weren't mature we had two options:

1. Let nature takes its course.
2. Induce on July 10 - Bryan's departure day. 

But I needed two things: Bryan to be here and the baby to be healthy.

My phone rang. I ignored it. Later, I listened to the message and it was Dr. Oldham calling to check up on me. He told me to call him back. For what? For him to tell me again we couldn't induce? No thanks.

I had to get out of my funk. I am sure Bryan didn't want to watch me lie on the couch all day. We decided to have some friends over that night, headed to Walmart for some grub and get out of the house. My phone rang while we were in the chip isle. It was Dr. Oldham, again.

Reluctantly, I answered.

He told me he was really surprised that the test came back negative. He was sure we were going to bring another Neal into the world on June 29. But he also explained that he sent the tests off for more definitive answers. The analogy he gave me: It was like an at home pregnancy test. In-house tests, if positive, were definitely positive. However, with  my numbers, there was a chance a negative could still be positive. But they had to send the samples off to be sure. So we made an appointment for Monday morning - my 38 week check up. He'll have the results by then.

My hopes were semi-up.

8 Days Until Bryan's Departure
Bryan and I headed back to see Dr. Oldham. Bags still packed - hopeful and prepared. But not too optimistic. LBN2's heart rate was great, I had had some contractions that morning, so Dr. Oldham put me on the monitor to check.

False alarm.

Other bad news? Dr. O should have had the results by Saturday, but they weren't in yet. Therefore, we didn't know if my negative was positive nor could we make a game plan. But, I was 3 cm dilated, so there was still a chance I could go into labor on my own. Dr. O said he would call as soon as he knew something and we'd make our plan.  I left the office depressed again.

Bryan and I headed to lunch and walked around the mall. My phone rang - and I missed it. It was one of Dr. O's nurses. Surely since she was calling, the tests came back negative. I didn't even want to call her back. I just wanted to go home and go to sleep. Her and I played phone tag. Once home, I got a hold of her.

The tests came back positive and Dr. O wants to induce on Thursday.  My response? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!

Holy crap. Best news ever. I seriously thought Bryan came all this way and he'd leave with me still pregnant and it would be 8 months before he met his son. Nothing was going our way. Nothing.

So on July 5, with 5 days until Bryan leaves, we'll head to the hospital to evict this baby! We'll probably spend 3 days in the hospital, leaving 2 days to spend as a family. It will be a short and bittersweet, but totally worth it.

Welcome Home, Daddy!!

Bryan came home Sunday evening after a long, long six days of travel. Jack and I were playing in the garage. Jack knew he was going to see daddy - but kept assuming it was going to be on Skype. When a silver Camry pulled into the driveway Jack asked me, "Who's that, mommy?" I told him I didn't know.

All of a sudden he dropped his toy, whimpered, "Daddy?!" in his sweet little voice - and his little legs darted towards Bryan as he was getting out of the car. 

Of course, I cried. 

Jack couldn't believe his eyes. He just stared at Bryan with a grin on his face, speechless. Then we went inside and Jack showed Bryan his room, LBN2's room, his new fish, my shoes ... everything. 

For the last two days I've heard nothing but, "Daddy, will you play with me?"

Monday Bryan and I went to the doctor to see about LBN2. We got our -hopefully- last ultrasound. We watched together as LBN2 smacked his lips and wow - does he have chubby little cheeks. His weight is definitely on track. I am 2 cm dilated and all the ladies at the OB are obviously nagging Dr. Oldham to help us out.

So after some discussion, Bryan and I will check into the Women's Pavilion at East Georgia Medical Center at 7am Friday morning for an amniocentesis to test his lung maturity. If they are 110% sure he's good to go - we'll stay there and induce. I'll be 37.5 weeks. 

I'm optimistic. I know every baby is different ... but Jack was induced at 38 weeks, perfectly healthy.  Bryan was very stern with me - and said by no means are we moving forward if the baby or myself are at any risk. 

I will not jeopardize our health, but man do I want Bryan home for this.

So please, let's pull together our prayers for a strong baby on Friday.

Week 37: A Stalk of Swiss Chard (LBN2)

Full term! 

This means that if he were to arrive now, his lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though my due date is still three weeks away. LBN2 should weigh approximately 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel. 

But we know last week LBN2 measured 6lbs 15oz. What did he come in measuring this week? A whopping 7lbs 10 oz!! Jack's birth weight at 38 weeks was 7lbs 2oz.  

Week 36: Crenshaw Melon (LBN2)

LBN2 is still packing on the pounds — at the rate of about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long. He's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered his body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected his skin during her nine-month amniotic bath.

At the end of this week, LBN will be considered full-term.

36 Week Appointment

Well today I had my 36 week appointment. I met with the Nurse Practitioner - and after finding out that Bryan is in Afghanistan and he'll be home Saturday (ish) in hopes of meeting his son - she was all about getting this baby out (assuming he's healthy)! She told me I had a 'healthy' baby. My belly measured at a whopping 43cm. LBN2 measure 6lbs and 15 oz - with a 38 week head. 

So, Monday we're going to meet with the doctor for another ultrasound to double check his lungs and see if they are developed and he's breathing. If so, and all of the other stars are align, we may have a baby before the 4th of July!

Someone has Jack lips and a Jack scowl:

Sibling Comparison

Don't forget Jack at 35 Weeks